honestly my life has thankfully been boring and chill. my doctor upped my dose in meds so i feel a lot better, kinda? i'm not sad and i am not having many sad spells (or depression ig?) as often as i used to. my anxiety is still touch and go but it's anxiety, whataya gonna do?
if anything had changed it's my ability to give a fuck about things. i truly do not seem to care about things (small things, annoying things etc). there may also be a lack of empathy there too but my doctor did say it's a temporary side effect. tbh, i hope it sticks around. i have always been a very empathetic person, and it has lead me getting hurt more often than not.
i got myself a little desk organiser though! i have a lot of makeup and skincare stuff so this was a huge yay big brain moment for me. it's white but i kinda wanna paint it or arts n crafts it to look more girly and pink to match my room. actually, i wanna do that to a lot of my "plain" things. my white ps5 looks so boring, i need a cute pastel cover for it to match my controller which is pink and kitty themed!
on a downer, my favourite site middlepot is closing down, along with melissa's store and her game (my fluffy life). i'm mostly sad about the game leaving, as a gaymer it breaks my heart when a good game just disappears but - i get it. sometimes even a life off of social media but with your own website can be overwheliming.
speaking of social media, i only have instagram really but i never post (i just stalk sabrina carpenter). i'm thinking it's time to make a library / bookshelf on rhinedottir instead! alas, css still hates me.
i am a person that is very easily influenced - friend a (been friends for roughly 4 years) says hey! come back to twitter (i rp there usually) and i say:
knowing damn well i do not fare well on x.com. alas, i gave into temptation.rookie mistake! got into a friend group, all was well until friend b shows up... man. this chick. this 19 year old child did not know how to just shut the FUCK up!!! she was a yapper - the type of yapper that yaps about one thing and doesn't leave an inch of a gap for another person to speak.
and oh boy did i give it to her one faithful evening. pretty much tldr told her to be quiet and let others speak (i can only stand listening to star wars for so long man). and apparently i was too passive aggressive with it. all i did was say what everybody else was thinking. and all the other friends were like "she's so young waaah" -- no. that is a 19 year old. not a 14 year old, not an infant. a 19 year old in college, 2 years shy of being able to drink and vote (in their country of america).
mind you, everyone was so worried about this """young 19 year old""", it ain't mine nor anybody else's job to fucking babysit. LIFE IS CRUEL! if you cannont handle me telling you to be quiet and let someone else speak, HO HO HOOOO good luck in the real world, babe!!! oh but did these other friends not like my reality check!! friend b along with some others idgaf about decide to block me (good riddance!!!) until tonight friend c decides to bring everyone into a group call (fuck discord too) to ""sort things out""..
when i tell you this was all a ruse against me... it was more a public lynching, a witch hunt if you will. i was being attacked left right and bloody center here. i'm talking being called horrible, delusional (because apparently calling someone delulu unironically is a thing?). and i was sitting there like... i don't need to be here. you aren't listening to me, you aren't willing to allow me to explain myself or apologise if i need to. so fuck it. i left the discord server, i deleted all my twitter accounts and then twitter itself. and i will be suing mr elongated muskrat for waste of time (this is a joke).
in conclusion, fuck twitter, fuck those bitches and happy fucking new year.
my dog odin has been a very reactive dog since we got him, his "breeders" were extremely neglectful and he was tied up in a garage for the majority of his puppy life (i think we got him at 3 months?). when we brought him home he was covered in what seemed to be dried hot glue, paint and he STANK. long story short, he had a terrible time before we got him.
we knew he was going to need help from outside sources to help with his reactivity, out friends that have the same dog breeds as us recommended a dog trainer who i will be calling shitpoop for legal resons.
there were red flags when it came to shitpoop from the beginning but we overlooked them because he was so good with dogs like odin.
the biggest one that we should have paid attention to was that he clearly has some negative feelings towards women. for example: when he did a home visit to our previously mentioned friends, he completely ignored the woman (even though the dogs in their house belonged to her).
skipping ahead now, we drop odin off with shitpoop like 3 hours away from our home and we were told he would stay there for roughly 3 weeks to a month. the date was the 17th of september, we expected him back the 17th of october... that did not happen. we only got odin back the 8th of november. shitpoop would not give our dog back. and he knew exactly what he was doing.
each week odin spent with shitpoop cost us £300. we had planned a month. so when the week following october 17th rolled... we began lacking the funds. and this guy did not care. he showered us with promises that our dog will be so much better and that he "just isn't ready" to come home yet. bullshit. we should have just gone and picked him up, but this guy hardly answered his messages or picked up the phone to talk to us. we had one address for him, but he travelled between two places.
here is where things start to get very sus... when we left odin this guy sold us another puppy, not professional knowing we were having issues with one dog... but we were looking for a third anyway. bucket, our puppy cost us £500. all together we gave this asshole roughly £1,200. and yet he tells us we still owe him £800... for what? i have no idea. but, i believe shitpoop sold us bucket and kept odin for longer knowing our financial situation... because he wanted to keep odin. nuh uh. he's ours. he really believed that we would just give up on our boy? wrong house bud!!
well, amongst the car issues we were also having, we asked if he would drop odin off at our house, thats how he got my address (remember this for later). he never responded. it took a lot of haggling etc before we eventually got a day and got our damn dog back.
then shit hit the roof. he was harassing us constantly about paying him back, we did not have the money to pay him this stupid sum of money and he didn't understand that. we offered to pay him monthly £50 and instead of agreeing he decided to go on a social media rampage (another reason i hate social media) and doxxed us. our address, my mother's instagram. the messages she was getting from random strangers was horrible. people were calling her a tramp, skank and whore. threatening her and demanding she pay shitpoop or "or debt". random strangers.
let me just slide in that this guy did this allll on his business instagram that has 9K followers. it's a private account but 9K is 9K. thankfully nothing went beyond threatening messages (some guy legit asked him if he should come and pick up odin from us?? dude??). but all it could take is 1 person amongst the 9K to show up at our house. yes we have security cams, yes we would have called the police but at what cost? some weirdo turning up and traumatising us? my house consists of myself, my mom and my minor sister. i suffer with adhd, anxiety and ptsd as is. my sister suffers with autism and epilepsy and does have seizures when in extreme stress. i am thankful nothing happened. but jesus christ it could have turned out so fucking horribly.
now, after the panic had worn off, we did contact the police and because it was (to them) not an emergency, they didn't come... in fact, they still haven't come to see us or take a statement. oh, and doxxing isn't illegal in the UK. go figure!
shitpoop has threatened us with legal action (opening a civil case) but we are yet to hear from that. and i doubt he will do anything because we have all the screenshots of his harrassment and doxxing. oh, and his refusal of the £50.
this guy is so shady! we've learnt that he does drugs regularly (the super bad kind) and owns a fucking lion in egypt?? man.
i haven't heard from him since he threatened us with legal action. i am begging it happens. i want to see that mans face when a judge tells him to fuck off. but who knows.
it sucked overall. this isn't how you conduct business at all. he took advantage of us and then tried to spin the story.
we've heard that there have been many of his followers that are against him for what he did, stating that we (or my mother) haven't responded at all (and we never will). many berated him for airing out dirty laundry in public and began a smear campaign. there are good people in the world.
is it over? i don't know. but for now, i am calm and i am manifesting the worst karma for this piece of human scum.
well!! that's all i really have to say! until next time, and with a better update! signing off! jay
signing off! jay
signing off! jay
signing off! jay
cats are easier when it comes to spaying and such, but dogs are interesting... they don't do well under anaesthesia. and as we suspected, mishka's heart stopped. don't worry!! she is good now, it is very common for dogs for their hearts to stop or to stop breathing. everything is okay and her vets are amazing. but it is still not a phone call you want to get.
so i'm just trying to relax, mess around with html and chill. that's all. i will keep everyone updates on how mishka is doing soon! edit april 6th: mishka is fine and doing well but still recovering!
